we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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