when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
