Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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