are you still at the devil's house?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
