i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
