I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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