4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
