i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
