So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
