Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
foreskin is a definite game changer
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
