This is not my ceiling
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
