i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We had to coat check the pizza.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
