he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
