he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
