I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
