i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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