There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She even gives head with a lisp.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
