these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
