I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
