You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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