Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize