do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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