i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
