Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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