i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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