Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
