She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
