....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
