guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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