WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
