no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
