We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
