Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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