what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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