i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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