I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize