I'm really into asian looking animals
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
