do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she looked like the before picture.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
