And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
