when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The Olympian is in my bed
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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