Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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