I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize