so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
