hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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