just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
