idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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