counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
