I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish life had little blips of pornography
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
