she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
