It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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