ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think my moral compass just broke
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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