And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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