is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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