he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
