Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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