it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
