you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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