Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
