i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
