How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We left the knife in your bed.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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