i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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