it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
