He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize