You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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